Positive Perception: 10 Ways to Intentional Gratitude

What if I told you that the language we use can change our reality? Maybe that sounds crazy. You know that your words can’t change certain life circumstances. Words can’t take away illness, financial struggles, relationship problems and the like! True. Language cannot change many things that are out of our control. But, the words we use can change our thoughts. And thoughts can indeed change our perception. I am a firm believer that perception creates reality. If I use language in my life to depict hopelessness, disappointment, anger, dissatisfaction etc., chances are my perception of life will begin to grow very negative, too. How many times do you catch yourself saying or thinking things like:

“Life is so hard”

“My spouse never listens to me”

“I’ll never get on my feet”

“I’m so tired all the time”

“I’m so stressed out”

Could we change our perception if we slowly began replacing those thoughts and words? Could we/it actually have an impact on our reality?? For what it’s worth, I believe the answer is a loud and cheerful YES!  I am not suggesting we all walk through life in an idealistic fog of PollyAnna-esque optimism. Life can get difficult and we are stressed out, tired, disappointed etc. But I am willing to bet that even in the most difficult times, each and every one of us could muster up one thought or statement of gratitude and positivity.  And friends, gratitude is powerful!  By focusing less on our struggles and more on what is going well, what we are thankful for, and even verbally appreciating those around us, we begin to shift our views. So what does practicing gratitude look like?

Here are ten ways you can begin to practice intentional gratitude and positivity today and every day!

1.  Gratitude Journal- Keep paper and pen next to your bed. Immediately upon waking up (yes, you can have your coffee first) or right before  you fall asleep at night, jot down 1-3 things or people that you are grateful for. 
2.  Affirmations- Many of us are our worst critics; we are good at being kind to others but neglect ourselves. Practice being kind and positive with yourself by giving yourself a verbal compliment or statement of affection every morning.  Here is a list of several quick and painless affirmations to get you started. And when you’re ready, here is a deeper and longer list.
3. Smile- Especially when you least feel like smiling. Force yourself to smile at least 1x daily. Trust me on this one 
4. Compliment- Freely give your spouse, kids, boss, colleagues, employees, barista, cashier, anyone compliments. It is a practice in removing yourself from your own inner worries and struggles to offer a small joy to another with no expectations of anything in return. I have found though, that I benefit immensely from this practice.
5. Express Appreciation- This is a key practice in restoring love and intimacy to relationships, but it also has great individual returns. Just as you write your items of personal gratitude in your journal, set a goal of offering at least 3 authentic “Thank yous” a day to someone else. Make sure you are including sincerity and for an added bonus, try including why you are appreciative.  When I was working on transforming my marriage, it took a lot more energy at first to say something like “Thank you for taking out the trash today. It makes it easier for me to clean up the kitchen at night when the trash isn’t spilling over. I really appreciate you” as opposed to not saying anything at all or perhaps focusing on the fact that he hadn’t bathed the baby like I had asked. But, I intentionally focused on making appreciation become a habit and the payoff was more than I expected. 
6. Celebrate Success- ALL success! You went to work today even though you hate it there? Way to go! You only smoked 5 cigarettes today instead of your usual 6? Woohoo! You only yelled at the kids once? You’re on a roll! CELEBRATE YOURSELF!!!!!!! Just a quick internal high five is sometimes all we need.
7.  Ban the words NEVER, ALWAYS, and SHOULD-When you catch yourself thinking thoughts or speaking out loud with these words, stop, start over, and remove them from the sentence. Just don’t say them- to yourself or anyone you love.
8. Laugh- if you are about to go to bed and realize you haven’t laughed all day, laugh! If you need to find something or someone to coax a laugh out of you, do it. If nothing is available, fake it. 
9.  5:1-This will require a lot of self-awareness and intentionality, but for every negative statement or thought you make try to think of or say 5 positive somethings. If you can’t do this at first, it’s okay. Just the act of catching your negativity will grow your gratitude skills
10. Complaint-Free Day- You may have seen the 21-complaint-free-day challenge with bracelets floating around.  Start with just a day at time. Can you go a whole day without one complaint? I bet you can!

 While doing one, some, or even all of these activities will not change circumstances, they will change your language. They will change your perception. You will be well on your way to experiencing more joy, more freedom, and be better-equipped to ride out the many storms in your life. I promise!

Good luck and don’t be afraid to share your success in the comments below, I look forward to hearing all about them!